JoanSim told me to update my blog, i guess she want to know more about how i'm feeling now. Haha. Fake~ Get back our English & Science result. Quite satisfied with my English result as i got 60/100 but did real badly for my Science, 39/100. Such a lousy result, but i know my science cannot make it. So be it then. Getting our Maths result tomorrow, worry mxm. :( I want a 'B' for maths. But i'm afraid i might not get the grades i want & feel disappointed. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, give me a good result. I must really did well for my 'N' level , everything shall put aside & concentrate on my study. Give me get the grades i want, cannnn? My only wish. I wanna go to the course that i'm interested & not those that i'm not even interested at. :( Hopefully i can did well. GOODLUCK TO ME & THOSE WHO ARE GOING FOR THIS YEAR 'N/O' LEVEL PEOPLE.
Feeling frustrated now. Really fcukup, breathe in & out to relax myself. I just need time to really think about. Why won't you just give me sometimes? Yes, you say you don't wanna drag our matter so long. You want me to put myself in your shoe, but did you put yourself in my shoe? Don't you think that, if we didn't meet up it's better for us to have no quarrels & stuffs? You force me to talk otp with you, when i dont like this feeling. I just want you to understand this, I don't like to do things i don't wish to. Same goes to everyone. Ya, maybe we misunderstand each other, but how your heart think I DON'T KNOW AT ALL. I don't need any explanation. All i want now is to concentrate on my study & nothing more. I want to get good grades for my result. I know you have alot of troubles too. I don't know what you will going to say, but all i want is TIME. Yes, we are from the same horoscope, i believed. We have somehow the same character, being stubborn. But this is who we are. We didn't really open out our knot in our heart to tell each other how we feel. Because we still don't know each other well enough. & we don't even know how to speak out. You can speak out yourself well, but what about me? Do you know how am i feeling now? I'm so frustrated of this matter. Because i don't want any quarrel at all, & what i want was not what you want. & you can't tell me to accept your changes now as i didn't even see it real well. You can always say that you've change, but all i think was you were still the same. You can't always think how you think & put it in my shoes. I told you i don't wanna you to go because you will somehow ruined my mood, i told you the facts. & you respected me, so i didn't say anything. I just think that it's not the time for us to meet or talk. I don't wish you will flunk your exam because of this. You have your own troubles, i have mine too.
I JUST NEED TIME. I'm sorry if it's harsh but this is what i really want to say.
6 comments:
Yes, I respect you, so I didn't go. But do you know how much I wanted to go? Do you know how I spend that day all alone? At that moment, I really felt that you were selfish. For your feelings & mood, you destroyed mine. After thinking through, I didn't blame you. As what I've said, our characters somehow similar. Not that I wanna force you, is that you kept saying you can't see my change. Think hard, have you tried to let me prove? I've alr given in alot. To the extent that, i didn't expect I will be able to do thy far. In the past, I never give in to you till like that before. I'm sure you'll know. &, you said you want time. But after Ns is a pretty long time, girl. Which also meant that in this period of time, when there's you, I must not be there. You get what I meant? I put myself in your shoes. But when I want you to put yourself in my shoes, all I want you to know is that I really wants to enjoy with friends too. But I cannot appear, because you are there. Understand? I feel so left out, you know? :(
If we meet, who says we will quarrel? You never try, how you know? All I thought was that we meet up & have a nice talk. You also agreed that we didn't say out everything. I insist on meeting is want us to speak up & not let misunderstandings go on further.
But at last we didn't even met in the afternoon at all. We met in the night, when we only spend 2hrs being together & talk. I shall not be unreasonable, but i don't like it when i've a quarrel & the person wanted to call me & talk to me. This is not me if i really talk otp with you. Yes, i know you give in more than what you expected. Is just another 1months for me to really think through everything. If you wanna to go out with them, go on. I didn't stop you. If you wanna go, tell me, then i wouldn't go. Do you know what i mean too? I don't want because i can enjoy, & yet you can't. If you seriously want to have fun, then go on. I'm not blaming you to be friends with them.
Maybe you will be happier together with them, why not try going out with them? I didn't say I don't want you to go = you cannot meet them ma. I apologize that i'm not understanding enough. I fail to be your once called 'true friend'
I'm sorry for forcing you to talk otp with me. I'll understand you, & will not request to talk or meet you until you are comfortable with it.
I'm not trying to say that you are stopping me from mixing with them. Is that I don't want you because of I'm there, you don't wanna go. As for my love life, I also understand that he likes to have fun with friends that's why I would rather you be there than I be there. I'm thinking for you, & for him as well. If I'm the one there, things may not turn out as well as if you are the one there.
You didn't fail to be my true friend. Just that we didn't open up our hearts and really understand the real reason behind every quarrels.
As what you say, you never try you never know. You cab always approach them and go out with them. Nothing is wrong. And nothing is different. They will still enjoy themselves real much. I bet you will enjoy yourself tgt with them too. I don't wanna be the person that snatched my friends tgt with me & left someone behind. I want it to be fair too. Yes, although we said we understand each other real well, in fact we didn't. We are only saying about it & not feels about it. We dk each other mind till now. We quarrel most of the time. Even if we didn't quarrel, there's still some hates behind our back. Just that we don't wanna say to makes things up big.
Yes, I agree with you. We keep some of the things to ourself in order to simmer down the matter. But we never thought that it's actually harming us. But precious, I still need you to know that, I really never get jealous about you & him anymore. Please believe me.
For both of us, I guess when you're ok with it, it's time to open up & take in what another party says. Definitely, we might not be happy at first, but after thinking through, slowly, I'm sure we are old enough to accept what people says about our flaws.
Post a Comment